Month: September 2015

5 Tips Towards Ensuring Relationship Bliss

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Don’t rely on mind-reading 

Have you ever found that you get annoyed with your partner because they SHOULD have done something or said something that they didn’t? Or they asked you ‘what’s wrong?’ And you’re thinking ‘You should know what’s wrong!’? Then you’ve been expecting your partner to mind-read and you need to stop!

Or have you ever looked at your partner and thought ‘Oh I know what you really mean.’ or ‘I know why you did that’? If so then you were mind-reading and you need to stop that too!

As individuals we are all shaped by our experiences, the things we’ve been taught growing up or the things we’ve seen. This is going to affect the way that you think. So there is no reason to think that the way you view a situation is going to be the same way your partner views it because their experiences will never be identical to yours. If you want him to know that you didn’t like the way he behaved around your friends or you want her to know that you need a bit of quiet time without having to engage in a long conversation about your day, you need to tell them.

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5 Tips For Managing Anxiety (inc. 2 videos)

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1. Know what is worrying you: Be specific

It has been said that worry is not an emotion but a behaviour that leads to an emotion; you worry (behaviour) and therefore you feel ANXIOUS (emotion). Feeling anxiety is a result of the things that you are worrying about and in order to manage the anxiety you first need to know what is worrying you. Do you ever feel, though, that you don’t know what you are worried about? If someone were to ask ‘Well, what are you worrying about?’ Your answer might be ‘Everything!’ Or ‘I’m not even sure, I’m just worried!’

This is where being SPECIFIC comes in. If you can specify a worry then you are part way to managing the anxiety that comes from it. Firstly, you want to think generally and then narrow things down. So ask yourself the question ‘What do I have to be worried about?’ Is it your finances? Your relationship? Work? Studies? Once you have identified the general area/s of worry, get them out of your head by writing them down so you can see them. Then it’s time to get SPECIFIC by asking yourself ‘What is it that at CURRENT TIME on CURRENT DAY that I am worrying about?’ and then write this down as well. You will then have a list of worries that are clearly identified and, now you have that list, you can start dealing with them one by one to manage your anxiety.

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