Category: Couples Therapy
Don’t rely on mind-reading
Have you ever found that you get annoyed with your partner because they SHOULD have done something or said something that they didn’t? Or they asked you ‘what’s wrong?’ And you’re thinking ‘You should know what’s wrong!’? Then you’ve been expecting your partner to mind-read and you need to stop!
Or have you ever looked at your partner and thought ‘Oh I know what you really mean.’ or ‘I know why you did that’? If so then you were mind-reading and you need to stop that too!
As individuals we are all shaped by our experiences, the things we’ve been taught growing up or the things we’ve seen. This is going to affect the way that you think. So there is no reason to think that the way you view a situation is going to be the same way your partner views it because their experiences will never be identical to yours. If you want him to know that you didn’t like the way he behaved around your friends or you want her to know that you need a bit of quiet time without having to engage in a long conversation about your day, you need to tell them.
A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it is obvious for it to have a few rough patches. However, the strength of a relationship is reflected in how the couples deal with those rough patches, and move ahead. Modern lifestyles and thinking has changed the pattern of thinking of people in respect to relationships. This has turned the statistics for divorce and marriage in the last couple of decades, upside down. However, while divorce and separation is necessary in many cases to avoid further troubles and emotional distress, if the problems are not only circumstantial, but also irrecoverable and irreversible, this is not the case for all relationships experiencing difficulties.