Category: Mood Enhancement
If you look at the TV adverts at this time of year you would not be wrong in assuming that Christmas is a time of year full of celebration and where everyone feels nothing but joyous festive feelings. But in reality this is not the case. Many people do love and enjoy the festive season but many dread it each year and for a number of different reasons.
In September I blogged about how important it is to enjoy some alone time. And it really is. But when the TV and people you encounter keep pushing the message of being with friends, family and loved ones and you know you have no one to share Christmas time with it can feel terribly lonely and depressing.
Look out for people that may be spending time alone and invite them to spend time with you. Or if you are alone 1) let people know so they have the opportunity to offer or 2) have a look in your area for what community events may be happening. There are often meals in churches and in community spaces on Christmas day.
Many look forward to all the time they get to spend at home with family but many do not. This can be the ideal brewing ground for bringing up past grievances and having petty but malicious squabbles.
Offer your friend a place to escape to should they need to at some point in the day. Let someone know that you may need a place to get away to and ask if that place can be there’s. Try not to bring up issues that may lead to arguments. If you do have any grievances with family it may be a good idea to try to talk things through now, before the turkey is on the table.
Some people feel the pressure to buy gifts for many people and expensive gifts at that. Maybe you have kids who want the latest gadgets or other people that give you a list of wants as long as your arm.
Let them know that this year you’ll be doing things differently. Make presents and cards for people to give your gifts that personal touch. Suggest that everyone just buys a present for one person so everyone gets something. Or team up with someone else to go halves on a present.
Life only comes around once, so do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile- Anon
Are you someone who dreads the end of the day because you know you’ll be at home, sat alone, with no one to keep you company? Does the idea of being alone instantly fill you with fear? Many people hate being alone. It can reconfirm ideas of not being liked enough by others, being the bottom of others priority lists and can lead to long sessions of self-criticism, self-pity and self-loathing. The dictionary definition of lonely is ‘sad because one has no friends or company’. The dictionary definition of alone is ‘having no one else present; on one’s own’. You may be on your own but you do no need to dwell in loneliness! If you see your time alone as ‘me time’ it can become an enjoyable and sought after time. Try seeing being alone as a chance to check in with yourself; your goals your desires, your progress. Try seeing being alone as a time to do things you really enjoy without interruption; reading, crafts, listening to music, watching your favourite TV show, catching up on much needed sleep. Just because you do not have people with you 24/7 it does not mean you have no friends or that your friends don’t really like you. Maybe when you find yourself with time on your hands and no plans to fill that time being with others, it is because they are too busy enjoying their alone time! Start to think about the ways you can fill your alone time with things that make you happy and you may just start to enjoy it!
‘You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with’ -Dr Wayne Dyer
Too often we allow the happenings of a day or the thoughts about how the day will be to determine our mood state. We wake in the morning and think ‘Ugh I have to go to X and do X today’ or we say ‘I can’t believe X happened today. That ruined my whole day!’ and we allow that to then leave us feeling anxious, angry, annoyed, sad…a number of emotions that aren’t fun to experience! But what if I told you that your mood state can be changed simply by choosing to change it? Research in the field of positive psychology shows that it is possible to choose how you feel. So why not choose happiness? Focus on the positives; the things you are thankful and grateful for, no matter how small. Focus on the things that make you smile and then… SMILE! This is a surefire way to lift your mood. So, despite what may be going on around you, try at least once a day this month to smile as a result of genuine gratitude and you’ll have genuine happiness in your life on a daily basis.
‘Happiness is always a choice. You can’t wait for circumstances to get better. You have to create your own good fortune. So look for ways to be happy every day.’ Joel Osteen
When things don’t go the way we want to in life it is so hard to remain positive and so easy to follow the path of negative thinking. We think about all the things we should have done, shouldn’t have done, the mistakes we made, the wrongs done to us and the general unfairness of life. Though it is normal to feel sadness and pain, the secret to moving on is to not dwell with negative thinking for too long. Change begins with the way we think. Think of all the things you want to happen and think about how you can make them happen. Make plans for the future and imagine yourself there. Imagine what it would feel like to be in the life you want so you can stay focused on the future and not the past. This month try thinking of one thing you dream of that you want to make a reality and start planning and acting for it.
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” Oprah Winfrey