Category: Stress

November 2017- 3 tips for Seasonal Social Survival (SSS)!

This time of year there are a lot of social expectations. Halloween has just passed and there may still be a few parties this weekend, then there is Christmas, with office parties and secret Santas to think about and then the New Year celebrations. Everyone asking ‘What are you doing for New Year? If this is a time of the year you struggle with or loath her are 5 tips for Seasonal Social Survival (SSS)!

NUMBER 1:
Rather than thinking of the possible negatives of having to attend such events try focusing on the possible positive gains. A seeing old friends and family you want to catch up with, you may get something in your secret Santa gift that you never even realise you wanted but really did, a few nights off not having to cook. There is probably something positive about the season so try looking for it.

NUMBER 2:
Remember that you don’t have to attend every event going. Pick the ones which you would prefer to miss and then only go to the others. You should be able to let people down by explaining you have other things to attend that you have already said yes to and you won’t be able to do them all.

NUMBER 3:
If you do feel you need to go to all then remember that you don’t have to stay the whole time. Go along, talk to a few people and then when ready leave. No one can say you didn’t bother showing up!

November 2016- Can dropping the word ‘should’ make you happier?

If you are someone who speaks to yourself using the words Should, Must or Ought to then you probably find that you spend a lot of your time doing things because it feels as though not to do them would be wrong, and not always because you want to do them. Sound at all familiar? Here is something you can do this month to change that.

LIVE LIFE WITH MORE CHOICE
Think of live as being made up of things you have NO CHOICE but to do and things you do have a CHOICE about. When doing so use a very strict criteria to identify where the things in your life would sit. NO CHOICE things are things that are a matter of life and death or will result in you breaking the law and being sent to jail. These are the only things you an use the words ‘Should, Must or Ought to’ for.

CHOICE things are, well, everything else! The words to use for these things are ‘Prefer, Like or Want’. So for example, you receive an email at the start of the day and are too busy to respond straight away. Just before leaving work that night you remember and think ‘I must reply to that email!’ You are tired and hungry and want to go home. First think ‘Will anyone die or will I be arrested if I don’t reply today?’ That will help you to identify if it is a no choice or choice matter. It is most likely in this situation that you realise you have choice about replying to the email. If it is not in regards to something that needs to be attended to urgently then you have a choice about when you will reply. Reply right then because you ‘prefer, would like or want to’ or go home and leave it until the next day to respond.

Saying that you ‘prefer, would like or want to’ do something will make the task seem like less of a chore. Do this and you will find that there are very few things in life you ‘should must or ought to’ do. There are of course many things in life that it is important to get done but hopefully you will be able to engage in them with more motivation and vigour.