Have you ever asked yourself this question- Who Am I?
It’s a question loaded with confusion and expectation. If you have struggled with this question then you know what it is like to be asked ‘Tell me about yourself’ and had the feeling of wanting to curl up and disappear because you have no idea how to answer it!
But I want to turn the focus around for you. Instead of thinking Who Am I? try instead to think Who Do I Want To Be?
There is no truth in the idea that you are born, grow up and remain the same type of person throughout your whole life. Sure your values and morals may not change but the things you like to do, the clothes you like to wear, the food you like to eat, the people you want to hang out with, the career you want to have are among many of the things that may well change. And your values and morals may just change too given your life experience. And that is all OK! It doesn’t mean you are fickle, need to be a ‘proper adult’ or are wasting your life away. You are creating your life! And hopefully, you are enjoying it.
4 Tips For Understanding Your Identity
- Remember that life is fluid- always moving, always changing. Your identity included!
- If your’re not sure if you like something, give it a go and find out!
- If you like something for a while and then change your mind- THAT’S OK- life is full of change. You can let it go and try something else.
- As long as you are the you that you presently want to be, then you are being true to yourself.
“In Twenty Years you’ll regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the things you did do”- Mark Twain
What if I told you that there is NO FUTURE, there is NO PAST and here is ONLY RIGHT NOW?
If I said that your past had once been a RIGHT NOW moment. All you have left of it is a memory. But the memory you have is of a moment, however long it lasted, that when it took place was NOW. When you are looking back on a memory you are IN THE NOW looking at it.
If I said that when you think about the future, you are predicting, fantasising and contemplating a moment that, when it happens, will be happening IN THE NOW. You can’t do anything about that moment until it is a NOW. You can make plans, try to prepare, but any action that takes place about that actual moment will happen when the moment is a NOW moment.
Would that lead you to thinking more about how you spend your NOW moments- your life from day to day?
For example, if you are running late to the airport for a flight you can choose to spend your time worrying OR to look out of the window and enjoy the view of blue skies and sunshine and to deal with whatever happens in the airport when it happens- because it hasn’t happened yet and you don’t know what will be. Then, if you are sat in the airport waiting for a delayed flight, you can choose to be annoyed and grumpy and complain about it with other travellers OR to use that time to catch up on that book you’ve been reading or to play a game of eye-spy. Then when you look back on the memory of that now moment, it won’t be of worry and complaining but blue skies and fun games.
With this acceptance brings choice. Make a CHOICE on how you want to feel RIGHT NOW. Whether it is when thinking about A PAST NOW MOMENT, contemplating A FUTURE NOW moment or being IN THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT NOW -because with that choice comes immense freedom.
These blogs have now been archived and can be found as an e-course ‘Life Hacks- Part 1’ on Prudentia Psychological Services Online Courses site